If I were you, and you were me
by Tonkswyrda
Summary: Role reversal! Remus is an Auror, Tonks was bitten by a werewolf when she was six. She's just joined the Order, and Remus finds her stony secretive silence intruiging.


Remus Lupin was just your average bloke.

He didn't have any terrible secrets, or super powers. He wasn't destined for great things. No, he was just trying to make his way in the world. He was an Auror at the ministry, a job that, although he enjoyed, he didn't think was his calling. He was quiet and bookish, and despite his reasonably good looks, he'd just never managed to find the right girl. Of course, when he said the right girl, he had no idea what he was talking about.

That was, until the day he walked into Grimauld place and saw her.

She looked nervous and jumpy; he could tell straight away that this was her first Order meeting. She was deep in conversation with Sirius, who, instead of being his usual loud and overly-friendly self, was talking to her in hushed whispers.

He couldn't understand why he was so drawn to her at first. She seemed quiet, like him, and she had a book open in front of her. Her jeans looked worn and patched; her large brown cardigan had a rip in it. But despite her rather ragged appearance, her eyes were a startling deep brown, and her short ruffled hair was bubblegum pink.

She was such a contrast; it fascinated him.

Sirius finally turned around and waved him over. She seemed a little frightened about meeting new people, and had clutched her book, which he now saw was a copy of Hamlet, for support.

"Remus! This is my cousin- well, my cousin's daughter, to be precise- Nymphado-"

She cut across him, giving Sirius an angry glare. "It's Tonks." She said stubbornly. Sirius just rolled his eyes in response, continuing with his sentence anyway.

"Nymphadora Tonks, who refuses to acknowledge she has a first name at all."

"So would you if your mother was enough of an idiot to call you Nymphadora. That's just asking for trouble, really!"

Remus smiled. "I think it's lovely." He said honestly.

She looked away for a second, but he saw her blush. It was only on her cheeks for a moment though.

"Well, as Sirius said, I'm Remus Lupin. It's nice to meet you…Tonks." He held out a hand.

She starred at it.

"Nice meeting you too." She said finally, before standing up. "Back in a mo." She quickly left the kitchen, leaving Remus with his arm still held out, extremely confused.

"She's just not a people person, Remus. She's had trouble with people in the past; she's a bit… well a bit guarded. She's like that with everyone, don't worry."

"Right." Remus sat beside his mate, pulling the pot of tea sitting in the middle of the table closer and pouring himself a cup.

"What's with the pink hair then?" he asked a minute later. He'd been thinking carefully, and had decided that her hair made the least sense of everything that had happened in their three minute encounter.

Sirius shrugged. "She's a metamorphmagus. Does what she wants with her hair. Pink suits her."

Remus nodded, secretly thinking that of everything he'd seen so far, black would suit her much better.

It doesn't take him long to realize she's keeping plenty of secrets from everyone.

What Sirius said was true; she was quiet and withdrawn from everyone but Sirius and, to his immense surprise, Snape. Just before the meeting started, he overheard her giving him a fair amount of attitude, before walking into the kitchen as if nothing had happened. Snape had still looked rather stunned when he sat down.

Tonks was apparently rooming at Grimauld place, but she still disappeared when everyone else went home. He was staying there too; and, as he went up to him room to grab some parchment so he could finish a report for Scrimegour, he passed her having a serious looking conversation with Dumbledore, who was looking rather grave. Was she getting her first mission for the order? Surely no one's first mission was that serious? Usually it was just watching harry, or guarding the door at the department of mysteries. Newbies would never get anything more intense than that.

He shrugged it off, thinking nothing of it. Not till much later did he realize that it could have been significant and quite possibly worth overhearing.

She didn't talk much.

It was aggravating; he tried to start conversations with her, but every answer she gave revealed as little detail as possible about her life. All he found out after half an hour was that she had been a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts, and was currently unemployed, though she refused to say why.

He didn't understand what kind of secret could affect her this much, and make her into such a private and guarded person.

Sirius obviously knew what it was, but he wasn't going to tell. Remus had asked, of course. If there was something big she wasn't telling him. Sirius had just shrugged.

"I don't know. That would depend on what she told you."

Cryptic answers like that infuriated him. He had never been good with puzzles.

That was what she was, really. A puzzle. One of those puzzles with thousands of pieces, yet he had found the empty box with only a few pieces remaining, the rest hidden away or lost.

He wondered if she didn't want to talk to him because he was an Auror, an authority figure. After all, she was getting along smashingly with Sirius, who was an escaped convict. He'd heard them laughing together in her room the other night.

Merlin, her laugh. He'd literally dropped what he was doing and casually walked down the hall to hear it better.

He wanted to get to know her better; she was beautiful, but she was just such a mystery.

He decided it was time to take action. So, when he saw her alone in the kitchen, drinking coffee and reading, he sat down opposite her.

She smiled at him. "Hi."

Then she went back to reading. This time, it was Wuthering Heights.

"Are you free on Friday?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

She looked up suspiciously. "I'm free everyday. I don't have a job, Remus."

"Oh. Right. Well, I have the afternoon off, and I wondered if you wanted to get a coffee or something."

She seemed genuinely surprised at this. "Why?" she asked.

He was a bit confused by this response. "Do you mean why do I want to get coffee with you, or why should you come get coffee with me?"

She laughed at that, shaking her head and putting her book down. "Why do you want to get coffee with me? I mean, you hardly know me."

He shrugged. "I want to get to know you. But you don't talk a lot. You're very… closeted. About everything."

Her face darkened for a second. "Everyone has secrets." She whispered. "Mine's just worse than everyone else's."

"Hmm… how about, I tell you a secret of mine, you tell one of yours."

She raised an eyebrow, as if suggesting this was a ridiculous idea.

"And," he added, "If I can manage a secret worse than you, you're coming out for coffee with me."

Her face was blank. "Fine. You start."

"Okay. In my first year at Hogwarts, I accidentally blew up my friend James' owl and blamed Snape. They've hated each other ever since. I never told him what really happened."

"Easy. I used to transform-" she stopped, frowning. "I used to morph into the teachers and give out detentions and dock points. Mostly from Slytherin."

"I snogged Sirius' girlfriend at his 15th birthday party."

"I almost attacked my best friends brother when he was drunk and I was in a bad mood."

"My sister's cat bit me so I kicked it down the stairs and it broke it's leg."

"I was bitten by a werewolf and every month I transform into a bloodthirsty monster. Any one who tries to kick me down stairs get's their throat ripped out."

He just stared, mouth open and closing like a fish.

She stood, furious at herself, he could tell. He didn't think she'd meant to tell him.

"Now you know. I don't think you can beat that."

Without another word, she left, slamming the door behind her.

A few minutes later, and he still hadn't moved when Sirius came downstairs. "Did you say something to Tonks? Cause she is in a really bad mood-"

"You never mentioned that your cousin is a werewolf." Remus said quietly.

Sirius looked away. "Not mine to tell. I told you there was a reason she's like that." He shrugged. "You know she spent her whole school life dreaming of becoming an Auror, and she got into college, and made it through the first year of training… then word got out, about what she was. She was kicked out within the week, even though she had near perfect scores in everything." Sirius looked Remus in the eyes. "She thinks all the world's against her, and when things like that happen, it's not hard to see why. So you'll have to forgive her for giving you attitude. Guess you remind her of everything she worked for, and everything she cant have because of what happened to her."

"Jesus. I… I shouldn't have… how old was she?"

"Six. Just before the first war ended. Her parents didn't think she'd even be able to go to Hogwarts, but you know Dumbledore. He let her in."

"Jesus… six? Her whole life?" he was still processing it.

"Yeah. She has all these scars. Everywhere. But she hides them. I guess she has it easier than other werewolves, what with being a metamorphmagus." Sirius paused. "You're not going to hate her now or anything, are you? Merlin knows what they tell you about werewolves in that place."

"What? NO! I'm not… it doesn't change who she is. I mean, it wouldn't, if I knew who she is." He sighed. "She keeps everything close to her chest, doesn't she?"

Sirius nodded. "She likes you though, she told me. Treat her normal… you'll break through eventually. She'd be worth the effort too." Sirius winked, and left Remus alone once again, confused, blushing, and embarrassed that his friend could read him so easily.

Sirius was right though. He would treat her normally, because being a werewolf didn't change anything, did it? There were ways to control that now, to manage it… people were even trying to find a cure.

But Merlin, if he were in her shoes… he doubted he'd fare any better. In fact, he was sure he would be a heck of a lot worse about everything.


End file.
